Good Morning! I am running on a few hours of sleep today, partly because I am a mom with a lot to do and partly because of this blog post. I will warn you it will have a faith based undertone, heck and overtone so if that’s not your thing you may want to stop reading here. But, I wish you wouldn’t. I am not trying to ruffle feathers or offend or brow beat anyone in to believing what I believe. But, it is what I believe. And, it plays a major role in how I live my life and the choices I make for me and my family.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
“Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.”
James 1: 16-18
Our bedtime routine is pretty simple. Shower, jammies, tooth brush, melatonin, prayer and scripture verse. I have a scripture verse for each one of my children. For Roo I have two 🙂 I want him to hear what I believe and in time it is my prayer that he will believe it also. Not because I said so, or because that is what he is supposed to do, but because he truly believes it in the very fiber of his being.
Roo is bright and extremely smart. He doesn’t get alot of social things, but he gets that he’s different. He knows that because 7 year olds are cruel or honest; take your pick. He knows that the others kids don’t cover their ears and scream over loud noises. He knows that his meltdowns, while out of his control, are not normal. He knows. He knows that when the adults at church say we should pray and ask God to take away his Autism like its some kid of disease or affliction, that he’s different!
But different is good, isn’t it? I tell him all the time, God does not make junk! I read both these scripture verses to him and I tell him that he is fearfully and wonderfully made, that he is God’s gift to me and that makes him good and perfect. I sit back in amazement that God trusted me with three of his beloveds. He trusts me to raise them and teach them, and I hope I do that in a way that honors Him. But, when I look at Roo I see a truly precious gift, and I am even more amazed that he trusted me with this one, this one who is special. This one who can and will do great things if guided correctly. His autism is not something that should be prayed away like a disease. He does not have cancer or the flu. He is NOT cancer. He is NOT Flu. He IS Autistic! And all that means is that the connections in his brain are different, not good or bad, not worse or better, just different.
I have worried and prayed because of the way he thinks and how he see’s things. My fear is that because faith can be illogical that he won’t get it. But I met a new friend last night on an Autism Bloggers board, Kasey Smith, who has renewed my hope that in time Roo can find his own faith. Kasey has given me permission to share this with you and I am so glad he did. I believe that Kasey was an answer to many nights of prayers. Years worth! Kasey is an Autistic adult who has a strong faith in God! Strong enough to be bold and call out some friends who are making him uncomfortable. Strong enough to declare his faith to the whole world, to anyone who will listen. To be a facebook evangelist, his words 🙂 We talked for awhile last night and he literally spoke my prayers back to me. An answer from heaven 🙂
It is easy to get caught up in the mundane aspects of life. To be tied down by the things that haunt us. For me I have a tendency to get so caught up in what is wrong that I forget to look for what is right. I think that it is that way for most people. Maybe not, I don’t know. I sometimes forget to let go and let God! After all, I am Roo’s safe place. I have to do everything in my power to make sure he feels safe and protected. In doing so, do I focus on the negative aspects of Autism? Sometimes. Do I forget to look at my son and see that he is fearfully and wonderfully made? Sometimes. And yet I expect others to look at him and see that he is!
My son is fearfully and wonderfully made, he is a good and perfect gift from above, I believe your child is too!