We rocked autism this week! I mean we really rocked it. Or, Did we?
Don’t get me wrong, we still had sensory issues and quirks. We still don’t like seams in our socks or the texture of certain foods. We still are not real happy with crowds and loud noises. We still want to know for certain what comes next and next and next. We are still a little tape recorder with it reel running at mach speed. But we didn’t over load, we didn’t meltdown. We didn’t completely loose self control.
It was amazing. It was beautiful. I made a huge deal out of how awesome it was.
Sissy was less impressed. She went into full tantrum mode. Ridiculously screaming and yelling and pouting. She hates him, so she said. He gets everything. You love him more than me. *SIGH* She’s 6.
Honestly, I try. I try desperately hard to keep it all in balance. Make sure they all feel equally loved and valued, but he does get a little more time. They do everything together, for the most part. He’s 7, she’s 6. They are 11 months and 3 weeks exactly apart. She follows him around like she always has, copying him learning from him. He taught her how to read and write. He reminds her not to do things and to follow the rules. He protects her and worries about her and takes his anger and aggression out on her too. They are siblings, best friends, mortal enemies.
I do spend hours at night researching ways to help him with what ever challenge comes up next. I do spend time making sure to do things in order to not cause meltdowns and time trying to diffuse them before they even start. But I also make a point of spending Momma time with her. We paint nails and do hair, read books, and play dolls. She helps me cook and do laundry, we even made up our own little laundry song we sing together while we work. It requires a few dance moves so we stop and dance right in the middle of washing drying folding putting away.
But alas, we spend 3 nights a week at least on him. He has practice and therapy. If he has a bad day then I spend the evening bringing him back to calm. And yes I include her when I can, but lets face it the middle of a full blown meltdown is no place for my girl.
Last night was the icing on the cake, Roo came home with his 4th day in a row of excellent behavior. I was beaming and could hardly contain myself. I made a huge deal of how awesome he was, and then dad came home and made an even bigger deal of how awesome he was. My little girl crumbled. She was an emotional wreck and the tantrum ensued. Not only did he have mommy, he had daddy too! She couldn’t take one more minute. The most ridiculous over the top temper tantrum I have ever seen. I of course picked her up and carried her to someplace safe and shut the door. I do not and CANNOT reward bad behavior. But my heart was broken, her method of communicating her pain was not the best, but the message was clear! Sometimes having a brother with autism sucks!